How to realise Oneness

Today, I know people like steps, so here's a step by step guide to realising Oneness. The steps are designed to help you to realise who you truly are, and your place in this wonderful and sometimes ugly Universe that we're spinning through. If you think I've made a mistake, feel free to comment. If I'm spot on correct, then....comment to. Okay, are you sitting comfortably? No? Then sit comfortably, and here we go.

1. Clear your mind of your past ideas
Just forget about all your past ideas about who you are and where you live and your name and your family and all that other stuff that's in your head. Just forget the whole thing - let's start with a blank slate. What do you mean you can't clear it? Okay, if you can't clear, just pretend you can - that'll do. It's not too important. :)

2. Understand that the whole Universe and everything else is all One big blob
The whole thing is one thing. You just need to understand this in your head really. It's one thing, isn't it. That's why it's called Uni-verse. One. Now, don't start going on about multiple Universes...just accept that everything that exists...everything...is part of the whole Oneness blog thingy. Oh yea, and that includes you too. You're also part of the whole blob.

3. Understand that the Universe is running the whole thing, including you, baby. Yes YOU.
If the Universe is everything, and everything inside the Universe is part of the Universe, then you are also a bit of the Universe. And so, being a bit of the Universe, everything that you do, is actually the Universe doing it. Yea, I know, that's pretty crazy, but it's true isn't it? You, whatever you means, is part of the Universe blob isn't it? Am I making any sense people? Am I talking to myself? I hope not....

4. You are the One, Neo (I stole that line from that awesome filum, the Matrix)
So.....you are one with the universe and everything else. You're like a wave in the ocean. You're part of the whole thing, doing your thing. Everything is just happening. Including you reading this, understanding or not understanding, EVERY FRIGIN THING is just what is. GET IT? And if you don't get, don't worry about it, nobody get it really, they're all just pretending. You cool just the way you are buddy....just the way you are.

Sorry about the chilled out talking style today. I don't know what's happening.....I think that hot curry last night has screwed me up somehow. :)