Friday, 23 April 2010

Advaita and Relationship Conflict

If someone comes up to you and ask something unreasonable (at least you think it's unreasonable), you naturally react. By react, I mean you may feel anger or frustration, depression or other such so called negative emotion. From this influx of emotion, you may say or do something in return. You may find yourself in an argument, or do something that you later regret.

For example, your partner says you never do the shopping and you say you do lots of other things she doesn't do, and an argument starts. You say things that aren't very nice, and so does she. Or you both stop talking altogether. You may go on to feel guity, frustrated, think you're not good enough, go on a personal development class etc. I'm not saying this is good or bad - it's just what may happen.

So, what's going on from an Advaita point of view? Well, whatever your partner is saying is not her fault. Thoughts are coming to her head, and she is saying them. It's not a matter of whether they are true or not - it's just that those thoughts are coming to her head. So, seeing this, you can't really blame her for her reaction. Secondly, whatever you think, say or do is not your fault either. Those thoughts came to your head at the time and the reaction happened. You can't really blame yourself for it, because you didn't do it. So, understanding this, guilt goes out of the window too.

Ultimately, all there is, is Oneness.

The sun is shining here in Kingston, and as I write in Starbucks, the Beatles song Across the Universe plays out. Here it is -I love the lyrics.

Go well, and thanks so much for reading :)

1 comment:

  1. Welcome to Mindfulness Meditation Kingston & New Malden, UK. Join our weekly meditation meeting at 18:30 every Thursday. The purpose of this group is, as the Buddha said, to seek out "wise and beneficial friends" who support us and our Meditation practice. As well as enhancing our spiritual growth significantly Meditating with others can bring a tremendous amount of healing to everyone who attends.
    Mindfulness Meditation Kingston & New Malden