Its 4.30am and I'm awake. I feel a wave of pain in my left ankle where a mosquito has had some dinner courtesy of my blood. The room is dark and quite warm. I hear the whirling of a ceiling fan and whining of an air-conditioning unit.
As I am awareness, I am everything. I am the sound of the fan, the warmth of the body and the reflection of the pale, silver moon on the lake outside. I am all people and all places. I am the feeling 'I've got it' and the feeling 'I don't understand'. I am the sense of doubt and frustration, and the pangs of hunger. Bondage and liberation are both experiences in me. The twinkly stars and wispy clouds and sense of distance and separation are none other than reflections of experience in me. Any effort I make to try and be one with everything, to attain some special feeling is a desire that comes and goes in the magical, mystical, ordinary and extraordinary awareness that I am.
I feel the desire for breakfast. I notice a wave my fatigue along with another mosquito bite on my thigh. I toss and turn to no avail - sleep has gone walkies. Thoughts about what I'll be doing today come to mind.
All apparent responsibility is illusory. Thoughts arise, desires surface and activity happens. This whole blog is clearly just automatic thoughts. With responsibility comes the idea 'I've got to xxx' which creates unnecessary stress. Seeing there is no doer, actions become spontaneous and aren't judged as good or bad. Is a puddle bad for being muddy? Is the sun good for being shiny?
The end of choice is the beginning of freedom. Claim nothing; enjoy.